When It Feels Like Your Life Is Falling Apart

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September 19th, 2018

 Well here I am, currently procrastinating when I should be recording my playing videos for Orchestra that are due tomorrow, studying for tomorrow's Spanish 3 Honors Quiz, and getting ahead on Serial Podcasts since I will be missing my Advanced Composition Honors class tomorrow. 

 To add on to that, I am worried about my mom. My mom had a colonoscopy two weeks ago and ended up having three polyps removed, two small ones and one big one and they biopsied them. My mom got a call last week saying that the big one was cancerous. 

 My heart sank when she told me the news. 

 Just when I thought me and my family were finally getting a break, considering both of my uncles had been in the hospital for weeks, and now this. I just could not believe it.  

 I decided all I could do right now is pray, so I did. Crying and praying for God to heal her and help me through this. My mom sees an oncologist tomorrow to find out what stage she is in and if she will have to have  surgery and/or treatments. I appreciate any prayers for her right now. I know God is going to get us through this.  

 The next day, after I found out about my mom, God did help me realize something. I had posted on my social media asking for prayers, and lots of people saw it, including my best friend. I walked into school the next day, just like any other day, to find my best friend in the hallway. She gave me a pack of sour patch kids watermelon, my favorite candy. She also gave me a good hug, which I really needed at the moment, and asked me if I was okay.



 Some of my other friends also responded to my post and said they were praying. My youth pastor also put my mom on the prayer list. My best friend posted on her Snapchat story asking for prayers for me and my family. I truly realized how blessed I am to have people that care about me and my family. I am especially thankful for my best friend who has gotten me through some of the toughest times. I know God put her in my life for a reason. 


Since I have been stressed and anxious lately, besides praying to God and consoling my friends, I have been trying to get back into God’s Word. I stumbled upon Psalm 55:22 which says,"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken." I love the book of Psalms, it's definitely a blessing in dark times. I really needed that verse. Also, a great song to listen to is "Psalm 46 Lord of Hosts." It is such an encouraging song that talks about God never leaving us. I know that I need to let go and let God on this situation. I need to just vent to God and trust that his will is best. 

Even when the hard times come, remember that you are never alone. God is always there even when it doesn't feel like he is. Trusting God during difficult times is hard. I know trusting God is not always an easy thing to do, it is something I still struggle with myself because I like being in control, but I encourage anyone that is struggling right now to just vent to God and try to start trusting him more and more. I promise, you will not be disappointed. Just keep praying and do not give up. If any of y'all ever just need something or someone to talk to or pray for you, I am here. Y’all can either direct message me on Instagram or I also take prayer requests which is located in my sidebar on my blog. 

 By the way, I recorded my playing videos and got them turned in. I guess I need to stop procrastinating and finish the other things I need to do. Till next time.   

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